Faith & Reason Nexus

Every married couple will have disagreements and arguments along the way – it’s just a part of life. Don’t let disagreements turn into “ugly fights.” Resolve disagreements in a Christ-like way. The following suggestions will help:

1. Select an Appropriate Time: Choose a time to discuss the matter when both parties are not tired, hungry, or preoccupied. Ensure you have sufficient time to address the issue.
2. Define the Problem: Listen first before expressing your own views. Understand what the other person is saying. Discuss how you and your spouse perceive the problem.
3. Discuss Areas of Agreement and Disagreement: Try to see the problem from your spouse’s perspective. Husbands, understand how your wife may have been hurt through the conflict. Assure her that you understand.
4. Take Responsibility: Very few conflicts are entirely one-sided. Both parties must identify how they have contributed to the problem and accept responsibility (James 4:6).
5. Outline Steps for Resolution: Discuss possible solutions and seek your spouse’s opinions, observations, and suggestions.
6. Ask for Forgiveness: Apologize for wrong attitudes, assumptions, hurtful words, anger, etc. Genuine apologies mean a lot. Remember the words, “I’m sorry!”
7. Plan for Future Response: Decide together how you will respond if the conflict or situation should reoccur.